On the edge

It’s a spring night.
I’ve been awake for way too long.
It’s Monday already and I need to wake up early.
But I can’t sleep.
I’m burning inside
and not in a good enjoyable way
but in the way that makes you cry and scream inside.

I’m now better.
I’ve faced really hard things in couple years.
Luckily I’ve got help too
and I’m feeling better already.
Sun shines every now and then
and the summer is coming,
the light
and the warmness.

But
I’m on the edge, don’t push me down.
I can cope I think
but don’t make it harder.
I can get up and keep trying
but it’s tricky enough
so I beg you don’t push me back.

I’ve been trying so hard
to do everything people expect me to do.
I’ve been trying so hard
to help out the people I love
and sometimes I think I’ve succeeded reasonably.
Sometimes I don’t.
And it hurts.

I’m on the edge, don’t push me down.
I can cope I think
but don’t make it harder.
I can get up and keep trying
but it’s tricky enough
so I beg you don’t push me back.

Sometimes I feel like crying for rest of my life
although every time I stop and think closely
I realise how blessed I am in many ways.
I’m happy.
I’m happy and sad in the same time.
Is it crazy? –Maybe, but it’s true.

I think I would do anything to end my loves suffering
cause it meant relief to me.
It would end my pain too.
And I’m trying my best.
I will always try
cause I’m in love
and will always be.

But
I’m on the edge, don’t push me down.
I can cope I think
but don’t make it harder.
I can get up and keep trying
but it’s tricky enough
so I beg you don’t push me back.

Most of the time I think
we’ll be ok, both of us.
Everything is going to be ok.
We just need some time.
I truly believe so.

But not tonight.
Tonight I’m bone tired, unsure and lost.
Tonight I’m just hoping to get so tired in physically
that I couldn’t stay awake.
Cause now I’m just feeling empty,
sad and miserable.

But tomorrow is a new day
and I hope
it gets a bit easier
even just a little bit
so I can rest and continue this fight
which is called life.