Flop

I´m lying in my bed,
my emotions are twirling in my head.
Thinking about why do I live,
While I can´t cry theese tears that I hide.
Always so depressed and so sad,
and just thinking about why I´m never glad.
Wanna feel the joy that I should,
enjoy my life like I could.
Would wanna use my energy to be on the top,
but still I just use it to flop.