Going down

Sometimes I feel like going down.
I´m not proud.
Things I have done and said strumbles in my head.
My soul ain´t no pure anymore.
I don´t expect red carpet or fancy girsl screaming for me.
I expect lonelyness to entwine me in it´s net.
I´m alone.
Once again.
Sometimes I tought I could be good.
But my eyes have opened.
I´m nothing.
I have friends who love me but truly I don´t deserve their love and care.
I want to live so I could be a better one.
I don´t want to go to Hell.
I want to make people around me happy and die when it´s good for my soul.
I want to clean all up.
Want to make it white again.
Even once.