Dear Mother

I maybe failure,
but now it is over.
I can't take this,
I'm hurting all over.
Leave me be,
leave me die,
fuck off my life.

I'm never gonna be
what you wanted me to be.
Pretty
happy
working my ass of
for money,
fame
and family.

I love you,
your my mommy.
But why the fuck
you have to diss me?
Hurt me?
I'm so sorry you gave birth to me
so you can see how I shame me
shame you
and your whole family.

I'm just me,
lost
and more fucked up
you ever could see.

I wanna die!
Can you even see that?
I'm older now
not wiser
but seen more
than you could believe.
Gotten more shit
than you could dream.

Been fucked all over
raped
almost killed.
And I lived.

Not because of you
nor your
fucked up
motherly love
you gave me.

I'm not strong,
but I'm alive.
I'm scarred,
but I'm alive.
I' m fucked up
but not less
fucked up than you.