I'm sorry

I am so sorry.
I'm so sorry I couldn't
protect and save you.
I'm so sorry I couldn't
give you the life and the childhood
you deserve.

They say that you don't
feel anything
but I know you do
and I'm very sorry
for every tear you have cried
and the pain you felt.
I'm sorry for the hospital.

I'm sorry that
I wasn't strong enough to do right.
I'm sorry that
I was weak and selfish.
I'm so sorry that
when you needed me the most,
I refused you.

Now you don't have to be
afraid anymore.
You are in the best place.
You are in the Heaven,
my little angels.
From there you came
and to there you gone back.

You shine in a way
I never will, never could.
You are loved by God.
Two little miracles.
In the lap of our Father
in the Heaven.

It's too late to regret now.
But still, I'm so, so proud
to be your mother.
You light my way
like a beacon in a storm.
I love you so much,
and so much more with
each days that passes.

And yet. Still.

I am so very, very sorry.